Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Letter to Me.

What a gift.

A trip (alone) with Philip to see Brad Paisley in Nashville. I've said this once but I will say it again... there is something so entirely special (and necessary) about mini-vacations with the one you love. It's not that we don't have our time together after the little one is asleep, but there is something refreshing about thirty-six hours alone (not in pj's, not cuddling on the couch... although I do love that, too). It just awakens you.

Hello, Nashville. And yes, I was the tourist that toted my cowgirl hat along.... because give me a chance to wear that and hell yes, I'm going to take it.

If you have a free weekend, I strongly suggest a trip to Nashville. The food is excellent, the live music and atmosphere is unlike anywhere else, and the big performances? Well, I'd be lying if I told you I didn't develop an even bigger crush on my friend Brad Paisley. And I couldn't help but be more than touched by one of my favorite songs, "Letter to Me."

(Yes, I occasionally let Philip turn the camera on me.)

If I could write a letter to me
And send it back in time to myself at 17....
And you got so much going for you going right
But I know at seventeen it’s hard to see past Friday night....

Eleven years ago, I did think I was living the best years of my life... and how could I not?

We had absolutely no cares in the world.... but ourselves. I was convinced I was going to marry my high school boyfriend....

....I thought my friends and I were the coolest (most invincible) people in the entire world. And if I couldn't see them for a night (one night), I thought the world was coming to an end. I would yell. Slam doors (my parents loved that one). And put up the biggest stinkin' fight. Would I win?

Absolutely not. And I would be devastated. Devastated thinking that I was missing the biggest, most important event of my life.

....And my family? I will say that even in my high school years, I still loved hanging out with my family. Would I choose them on a Friday or Saturday night over a big bash (or even a mini get- together)?

Not if I had the choice.

And that's the thing. You just don't see life that clearly as a seventeen year old.

You’ve got so much up ahead
You’ll make new friends
You should see your kids and wife
And I’d end by saying have no fear
These are nowhere near the best years of your life....

Oh, how little did I know back then...

If I could write a letter to me.....

* I would tell myself that there is no happiness that can compare to seeing your own little one, to watching him grow up and become a talking toddler. (And also think it is the sweetest thing in the world watching him cuddle with a baby doll.)

*....that you will never laugh harder than when you watch your child take his baby doll for a trampoline ride and you wonder whether he will do this with future brother and sisters.

* ... that you will love seeing your children with your own parents. And that you will wonder if you will be calling them for advice in fifteen years when your own child is throwing a fit (maybe slamming doors) about not being able to go out on that friday night.

*.... that those big moments in high school... a first kiss, a spring dance, a rockin' party.... while fun, will never ever compare to the moments you experience when you have a family.

*.... that it's okay to get a B on a test; that you might not marry your true love in high school; that this is just one phase of your life.

Would I have listened back then? Probably not.

I really did get upset if I didn't get A's and I did think my life might end if I couldn't go out for one night. And in the end, after the graduation, the college years, and those first years in the real world, did it all matter?

Not in the big scheme of things. I'm a big believer that we are defined by the moments in our life and yes, those moments certainly do include your high school years. Yet while I received the best education, had the greatest batch of friends, laughed, loved, and shed a handful of tears when things didn't go my way, it was just a moment in time.

And the moments that really matter? Well, my friend, I'm living them....

I wish you wouldn’t worry, let it be
I’d say have a little faith and you’ll see....

In fact, these are the best moments in my life.

(see the song live here.)


callieleonard said...

I love your blog. I can't wait to be a wife and mother. I'm 18 and about t graduate high school and I wish I could fast forward to the days when I have my own family! Yall are so cute!

Darla said...

That was beautiful!!

The Family Stone said...

That left me teary eyed. I found your blog by accident, and read for a good thirty minutes. You are great writer and an awesome photographer. I'll definitely be checking back in!

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